Teenagers and Dinosaurs

Today was another beautiful day in my preschool neighborhood. It may have been raining outside but it was sunny in my classroom. There was one big exception - Miss Eden. Little Miss Eden is usually a bright ray of sunshine, eager to start the day, happy to see her friends. This morning was a whole different side to Eden. I had Eden in my classroom 2 years ago when I started at Grace. I really wanted to go back to teaching preschool but the only opening Grace had was in the "baby" room so I took it to get my foot in the door. What a great year it turned into! Met and worked with two women who became two of my dearest friends, Jasmine and Cathy. And it's where I first met Eden and her cohorts; in fact, six of my original "gang" are in my class this year. So happy to be with the threes because that's where my heart lies. (Put in a bid for 3's last year but they needed me to teach 4's so I did, knowing God would honor my decision. I did, and He has!) Anyway...back to Eden. She cried for about 20 minutes this morning, missing her mommy. I did what comes naturally to me - I sat down in the rocking chair with her in my lap and we rocked and cuddled those little tears away. Rocking was good for both of us this morning. God worked that one out for sure! The arthritis in my lower back and right hip was rearing its ugly head and sitting in my rocking chair gives me relief; rocking Eden was good for what ailed both of us.

Now onto the teenagers and dinosaurs. Scout has a little stuffed dinosaur she carries around in her purse, named "Torrosaurus." We rescued "Torro" from the reject dollar store bin. It looks like it was sewn together from a bunch of leftover parts of other stuffed animals; head of an elephant but with a blunted snout, mouth like a lop-sided shark and the rest is kind of generic. She loves the poor, sad thing. It went to Europe with her last year on her "People-to-People" trip. It has gone on several other vacations, including vacations without her. Scout's friends love the little freaky animal, too, and have taken it places. That thing has been places I've only read about!! What can I say? My kid is definitely unique - and I LOVE her!

More dino news - Scout came home Monday and announced that she wanted a dinosaur coloring book. Okay, I thought, is this for school? Nope, turns out she wants to color for stress-relief purposes. Well, coloring is relaxing. (If you haven't colored lately then you should try it. ) My girl does have a pretty hectic schedule so I can understand needing a quiet activity. Just caught me a bit off-guard for a 16-year old to ask for a coloring book. But hey, sure beats the heck out of some other activities teenagers are engaging in. So...yesterday it was off on a dinosaur coloring book quest. When we found one at Dollar General it was like Scout had won money on a game show! Dang, if I had known spending a dollar on her would extract such an excited response I would have done it sooner. I thought she might have to change her drawers when we got home!

I felt like I spent 5 hours in the car yesterday. Picked Scout up after middle school ball game. (Greenbrier High's band plays @ 1 middle school game per year.) Went on the dino-quest. Looked for ink for our printer. Back home for supper. Back out to continue ink hunt. Gave up ink hunt and came home. Felt like I was still rolling for 30 minutes after coming home. Do I need a tune-up? Are my fluids level?

Goodnight and love to all y'all!

Just Monday

Yipee! Fall weather has arrived; now if it will last. One thing about the weather in this area - if you don't like today's, stick around because it can drastically change - in a matter of hours. Many's the day when I've had the heat and air-conditioning on in the same day. Too many times for me to count I've experienced all 4 seasons...in a week! But the weather is one of the reasons we Southern women age so gracefully. The humidity keeps our skin nice and hydrated. I repeat like a mantra when I'm melting like a popsicle in a toaster oven - "This is nature's facial, this is good for me. " And I keep loading my pocket fan with new batteries like I'm feeding quarters in a pinball machine!! I've even been known to use it in church, much to spouse's chagrin. The first time I used it during the service, he asked me if was I really going to run it while Pastor Bill was speaking and if so, what if he didn't like it? My response was (1) I didn't believe Pastor Bill would be bothered by it and (2) if he were deluded enough to confront a menopausal woman about her cooling device well, he was just taking his life into his own hands! Besides, I would just tell on him to Leila and she would take care of him in fine fashion. Honey I loves my pocket fan. As my mama would say, I need to go back to WalMart and give them some more money for that thing. Laugh if you will at my whirring, little, $3.98 plastic gadget but someone in China was having a very good day when they packaged that little jewel!

This weekend was very much a mixed bag for me. Friday was difficult because I had both a migraine and an attack of fibromyalgia facial pain. The facial pain is something new I've been dealing with for a couple of months. My glands on the right side of my neck swell so much that they press on a nerve, or bundle of nerves, running from my ear to my jaw. Pain meds alone barely touch the pain but alternating heat and ice as well helps ease the pain. There is no such thing in my life as pain-free; comfortable is sometimes achieved but usually it's just dealing with a level of pain with which I can live; 4 out of 10 on the pain scale is a good day for me and that's without the facial pain. By Saturday I was much better. Delaney and I had a quiet day at home . A nice supper Saturday evening followed Georgia's heart-breaking loss to LSU. Unfortunately, just as the Dawgs thought they had those Tigers licked so I thought I had my facial pain licked. It was but a brief respite because the pain came roaring back around midnight and I was up until 4 a.m. Determined to allow God to use this for His glory, I went to Sunday School and church anyway. And He showed up and showed out for me. Instead of being tired after church, I felt renewed and physically comfortable. I even cooked dinner. Our church had a fall fellowship in the evening (food, games, etc) and I was able to go with Delaney to enjoy it. I had fun playing "Scattegories." What a blessing it was to be in His house and with His people on His day. It always, always amazes me to see what God can do when you are literally on your knees, crying out to Him. He hasn't shared His plan for me but I know that I know that I know there is a reason I am walking through this valley - through this valley because I will exit it. One thing He has revealed is the opportunities I have had to interact with people experiencing their own kinds of pain. There have been people who seem to have been waiting for someone to listen, to understand, to just be there and I guess God put me there to be that person. There are seasons and divine appointments of His choosing. It's anybody's guess why in the world God would choose me!

Today was another lovely day in the preschool neighborhood. The rain kept us inside today, drat! But we didn't let that ol' rain stop our good time - it just meant more singin' and dancin'. It's great to be 3 and simply know that you are a fabulous singer and dancer. They truly do praise the Lord with all their heart, soul and might. I love watching our little munchkins and their uninhibited, joyous, hip-shakin' confidence as they swagger around the rug, singing at the top of their lungs. Now that's medicine you can't buy anywhere and it makes me feel good all over!

Love to all y'all!

My Crazy Life

Good glory, I'm behind again! This time many forces joined against me but I shall not be defeated! Encumbered by idgits, I pressed on. Wow, where do I begin?! The cord to the computer became totally frazzled, kind of like me, and just stopped working; I don't get THAT option - gotta press on. So, we were out of the computer biz while we waited for a replacement cord to arrive via snail mail.

Wouldn't have had time to Facebook or blog anyway because...early Tuesday morning my mother had to be taken to the emergency room because of chest pains. Catheterization showed no blockages; ultrasound showed no clots. Docs think it might be something pulmonary but not serious; perhaps asthma. Anyway, spent the day w/Mama & sister @ University while my co-teacher & directors graciously held down the fort for me in the classroom. Whew! And that was just the beginning of the week.

Had a great week in the classroom. Love love love my munchkins! And this is one of my favorite times of the year. There is just so much to do with autumnal themes. (Hey, nice word - autumnal. I is no dummy!) We went on a nature walk on Wednesday. We gave the children a "tape bracelet" and encouraged them to put little weed flowers, leaves, etc on the bracelet. They absolutely loved it. It is so much fun to see things through their eyes. As a teacher at Grace and a church member, I'm on the property a lot. But when I'm with my class I see new things all the time. There is an area on the property that leads into a little copse of trees and you can't believe you're still so close to civilization. Once you enter the area, it's like being in the middle of nowhere. (For those of you familiar w/Grace, it's down the path past the office and down toward the softball field.) What a beautiful little piece of God's green earth, put there just for us to enjoy His handiwork. May sound silly to some but when we can, it's a nice little hike for the children and they like pretending they're going on a bear hunt. Oh and this is cute too - the volleyball field is white sand. Deer, raccoon, dogs, etc, cross the sand and leave tracks. It's so precious to take children out there in the morning and let them see the animal tracks. And because there have been humans out there as well and their footprints get distorted, the children are simply convinced bears and other big animals are crossing the sand, too. I don't lie to them, but who am I to say none of them are bear tracks? There have been bears, boars and coyotes spotted in our area so, who knows? What I do know is the imagination and excitement of my children is almost palpable!

Scout is doing her high school thing. It's been a rough week for Greenbrier. The young man who died at the track was not her friend but it was difficult for her just the same. If you follow my blog, please pray for a hedge of protection for Greenbrier and for all schools. But Greenbrier has lost 2 young men and nearly lost Haley Van Pelt in a wreck - all since this summer. Homecoming was this week and with it came all of the crazy dress-up days. Like me, Scout really goes in for the dramatic, though I must say she's not quite as apt to draw attention to herself as I am. She has found her niche at church in the Kid's Alive program. She works in KA once a month and is in the skit ensemble. They do such a great job of really making the lesson "live" for the children. It really grabs their attention. So proud of my baby girl for finding a place of service at Grace.

The Dawgs lost tonight but my baby girl is home so it's still a win for me!

Love to all y'all!

I am Behind- no not I am a behind!

Good glory! I really have been busy. What is up with not writing in a week? That makes 2 weeks in a row I've done that. Guess it really is good that this blog is ultimately for me because honey, I sho' can't make no money writing if I don't write, right? Clear as mud, huh. Sure hope nobody in my family needs an alibi for the past week, including me. Lawd, that's why I started journaling. Well, not for the alibli factor, but because I wanted to remember stuff. Important stuff. Dumb stuff. And sometimes, just stuff. Heck, it took me 20 minutes to remember what I had for breakfast - today. Yikes! And, apparently, it's as hard for me to find my laptop sometimes as it was to find my journal and a pen. I really did write nearly every day but occasionally, I did have lapses like this one. Some of my journals have lapses here and yonder of a week or two then...bam! Back to the every day entries, back to the important stuff, dumb stuff and stuffy stuff. Good thing I wasn't in charge of copying down stuff Jesus and the disciples said!

It has been a wonderful week in the preschool neighborhood. Our class is so precious and sweet. It is amazing how 17 little personalities can mesh and blend and all can be well, almost all day. God has truly blessed Ann and me with a great start. If these last few weeks are a portion of what is to come, our year will be amazing. Every year is different; every year has its challenges and triumphs. Every year I fall in love with each child and treasure their memory. I wouldn't trade any year I've taught. Working with 3's is where my heart is so I suppose I'm a bit biased in my feelings for this year. I feel like I've come home again.

School, work, Scout's band practice, church...this week at the Remsen adobe has been uneventful - thank you Jesus! Life is supposed to be only interrupted by emergencies; mine often feels like a constant emergency interrupted by brief periods of normalcy. Every time I share that with someone they tell me that at times they feel the same way. So, I suppose normal really is just a setting on the dryer! (Thanks to Liz Curtis Higgs for that little gem.) If you're looking for normal at my house, keep walking sistah..keep hiking bruddah 'cause we are fresh out here! But if you want a hot meal, a laugh, a prayer and some love, well step on over the threshold and make yourself to home.

One very exciting and definitely unexpected surprise occurred today. I received a notification from the Augusta National that I have been moved from the waiting list to the patron list; I will receive badges for the Masters Tournament, beginning 2010. Yahoo!!! When the National purged the old waiting list, I was lucky enough for my name to be drawn from the practice round ticket holders and placed on the new waiting list. There was no guarantee of how long I would wait to receive badges; only a guarantee that sometime in the "foreseeable future" my name would be placed on the patron list. The foreseeable future turned out to be about five years - not bad considering some people have been waiting for twenty years. Thank you God, for such a lovely surprise. And no readers, you cannot have my tickets. I haven't had regular access to a badge since I was a teenager and Daddy got badges. For years I've gone to the tournament on the good grace of others. When I was chosen to receive the practice round tickets it was a wonderful bonus to receive as well. I just wish my sweet daddy were alive. My first urge was to call him and tell him. Of course he is in a place more beautiful than the Augusta National golf course and I wouldn't take him away from the presence of our Heavenly Father even if I could. It's just that this is another one of those things that makes me miss Daddy.He would have been so happy and excited. When I called Mama, the joy in her voice was almost palpable; the happiness she felt at something she knew I really wanted was just how we want our mothers to react. Mama said she also knew Daddy would've been thrilled for me. Okay, enough crepe hanging. Daddy would say, "Get on with it, girl!"

So...Whoo Hoo!!! I'm getting Masters badges, I'm getting Masters badges!! But that doesn't catch up my blog. I'm still behind BUT no, I am not a behind!

Love to all y'all (but you still can't have my badges!)

Playing Catch-up

Wow, it's been 1 week since I last journaled. It is so easy to lose track of time, especially when there's lots on the family schedule. When things are busy I'm prone to get a little addlepated And then there's the fact that some days I'm the windshield and some days, I'm the bug!

I'm off on Fridays but Scout marches in Greenbrier's band on Friday nights. That means getting her back at school about 1 1/2 hours or so before the game starts. No time for supper but she doesn't like marching on a full stomach and doesn't like eating at the game. But she does drink water like it's all scheduled for evaporation in the next 24 hours! After the game is when she's hungry enough to eat a water buffalo, fresh on the hoof. Friday night it was a Wendy's burger and about a gallon of Co-cola. There we all were at midnight, around the table, scarfing burgers. Good times!

Those band geeks have such a good time together! They all have these crazy nicknames and slogans for their sections. Delaney's nickname is oddly enough not "Scout" but is "Delanore" which is what her cousin calls her. By the way, band geek is their term and they are proud of it. So proud, in fact, that when a girl at school tried to hurt Scout's feelings by calling her a "band nerd" my baby's response was, "Well, if you insist on call me names at least get it right. I'm not a band nerd, I'm a band geek!" Hilarious!! Scout did pay attention to some things I've taught her. I've told her more than once that if you make fun of yourself first, it defuses the situation; giving the bully no where to go is frustrating and they usually give up and just go away. And there is always the "worst" thing you can do to a bully - pray for them, yikes!! We did that once. We began praying about a young lady who was making it her mission in life to hound and belittle Delaney. We even asked our prayer warriors, one Wednesday night at church. to pray for the bully and for God to intervene on Delaney's behalf. The bully was amazingly transferred out of every class she & Delaney shared - the NEXT day. Sometimes when His answer is "yes," it is also immediate.

Sunday morning Pastor Bill was continuing his sermons based on Exodus. During his message he was speaking about resting on the Sabbath. At the invitation he asked to pray for anyone who felt weary, "give out", just plain exhausted. Delaney & I went forward to pray with our youth pastor, Bryan Carter. Delaney had an especially long, exhausting week - long band practices including an extra one, lots of tests & homework, Wednesday night service, Friday night ball game. We asked Bryan to pray that God would give Scout an extra portion of strength and at the same time, the discernment to know when to say "enough" and when to rest. It was such a sweet time between the 3 of us and our Heavenly Daddy.

Wished I would've asked him to pray about Scout driving us home from church. But as I am alive to journal He obviously had His eye on this sparrow...driving a truck.

Come Monday I found out that, over the weekend. one of my younguns @ school had bonked his head and required 2 stitches. He was fine to come to school and we were asked to just make sure he didn't re-injure the area. After 2.5 seconds outside, He promptly banged his head on the play equipment! Different area on the head, halleluYER, and no blood. And 10 minutes later, BLAM! Yep, he hit his head again - different spot, no blood. We encouraged him to sit in the shade and play playground guard; he liked that new game and managed to escape further injury that day. Believe it or not...he repeated this scenario on Tuesday. It's that "weebles wabble but they don't fall down" thing when a kid's head is out-of-proportion to their body. I think bubble wrap or a personal safety spotter may be the answer in this case!

Enjoyed a treasure dig at the Salvation Army on Tuesday afternoon while Scout was @ band practice. Found 6 great childrens' books and paid $1.30 total ; 4 were hardbacks, all were in great condition.Actually found a lot more but I restrained myself. Found a new Target-brand Christmas wreath; am going to spray paint it black and decorate w/mini-pumpkins and other Halloween decorations. Just saw that idea in some Autumn/Halloween idea article - paid $1.29 for the wreath, yay! Big package of silk leaves, originally from Michael's, still in original packaging - 59 cents, yay! Alone time paired with inexpensive retail therapy - priceless!

And now comes the "BOOOO" part of the week. On Wednesday morning I awoke with a flaming case of the crud, a/k/a the epizutic, the pharfalonis of the blowhole, the icky. Couldn't go to work unless I planned to share this lovely plague. I don't really relish the idea of 16 sets of parents storming my home and dousing me in Lysol in retaliation for giving them the gift that keeps on giving - giving until all family members have been recipients of my unselfish generosity. And sometimes that stuff goes around twice, yippee! Went to the doctor today; she peered into my ear, visibly stepped back, and exclaimed, "Gosh, it looks awful in there. No wonder you feel like crap." My sentiments exactly. Her directness is one of the reasons I love Dr. Mason-Woodard. She confirmed I didn't have porcine pestilence - swine flu - but just good old-fashioned crud. Crud is such an apt name, who cares about the Latin! (Technically speaking however, I have ear infections and sinusitis. Yes, you read it right -ear infections, plural. As in both ears. Yikes!) A few hours after the first mega-dose of antibiotics I feel better already. And I found the joy in this situation: transportation to a doctor; health insurance; the money for the co-payment; the money for the "crud curing" medicine; and finally, a teenager to wait on me, to be at my beck-and-call, halleluYER!!

Now I must sleep.

Love to all y'all.

Journaling

Guess "Journaling" isn't a clever title for today but as this is my blog, I suppose I'm free to be as creative- or not- as I please. Today's entry, and I'm sure some yet to come, will read more like a recitation of the events of my life. It is meant to be an online journal and not a column. It does give me joy to know there are folks who read this; if you do, please give me grace on the days I fall short of your expectations. I fall short of my own expectations so much I should wear some sort of protective gear, like one wears to skateboard, only designed to protect me emotionally. Guess that's kind of what God's grace and mercy is all about. We weren't promised an easy ride, just some cushions in the wagon.

Scout and I had a quiet night at the old adobe. "McGyver" here rustled up some good groceries for the two of us. My poor Scout is nearly worn to a nub - a nub I say - from 3-a-week marching band practices followed by Friday night games. And that's in addition to homework and Wednesday night worship. No wonder she needs a nap in the afternoons and sleeps until noon on Saturdays. Honey, that girl has always needed her sleep and is absolutely poisonous when sleep-deprived! But come Sunday, she is always raring to go to Sunday school and the morning and evening services; same gusto come Wednesday evening for Youth Worship. Jesus seems to be her "Red Bull." Hallelujah!!

Today was another lovely day in the preschool neighborhood. We have such as sweet little class. We are having a good time, learning through play about God and the beautiful world He created for us. Ann and I feel so blessed that we keep waiting for the proverbial "other shoe" to drop and things to fall apart. It is certainly to God's glory, not ours, that our plans are coming together and the children are thriving . It does help to always have a "Plan B" in our hip pocket. Some days you do have to fake it 'til ya' make it! It is such a blessing that no matter what is going on in my life, in the world, in other classrooms - when we shut our classroom door, all is right in our little corner of the world. For five hours, I get to work and play with 17 of God's miracles . For five hours, I get to live in a world where the color of the crayons chosen are more important than the color of skin; where the fact that "Mommies" pack lunches with love is more important than the latest diet; where how loud and joyful we are when we sing, and that our praise is as unto God, is more important than how we sound and if we're any good; where the biggest conflicts are solved with prayer, band-aids, "I'm sorry" and a hug; and where we are free to talk about the truth of The Father, Son and Holy Spirit from the time we enter in the morning until we shut the lights off in the afternoon. It's all good in my preschool neighborhood. To God be the glory for the great things He has done and for the hope of more to come.

Love to all y'all!

Cloudy with a Chance of Tears

I still am marveling that my precious girl is 16. I am still marveling that God blessed me with that desire of my heart. It is daily that I pray to stand before Him one day and know that I know that I know that Bill and I did all we could to raise Delaney in a way that pleased God. From all of the comments I hear, and the ones I read on Facebook, she is a blessing to those in her life. And she has blessed those who may never know her through her mission work. She certainly blesses my life; though there are days when I could roll her up in a blanket and lock her in the closet for a couple of hours!! I'm sure God feels that way about me sometimes, too! Tonight was a "top-of-the-blanket" rather than rolled-up-in-the-blanket night. Simply love it when she comes in and sits on the bed with me and just dishes and chats me up. She is dealing with some hurt feelings right now. Delaney is mature and handles adversity very well but she hurts sometimes; no matter how mature we are, bruises hurt - heart bruises are often the most painful. She was feeling "cloudy with a chance of tears." These are the times as a parent that I want to go blow up the cause of my child's hurt. As a Christian, I know I must make choices that point to the cross. I don't always make the grade. How grateful I am that God's grace and forgiveness are given to me daily, His mercies are new each morning.

Today was also a "cloudy with a chance of tears" day in my classroom. Several of the children were clingy and tearful; children who normally come in cheerfully were not. Thank goodness they were not arriving at the same time because Ann and I were tending to them and greeting others as they arrived. My rocking chair, a gift from my dear friend Sherry, was rocking into overdrive today. As I rocked and soothed little hearts, I couldn't help but think: how better would we all feel if we could get a little rockin' and a little TLC whenever we felt bruised and pushed around by the world? I talk to my children each day about the depth and breadth of God's power and His love. As much as I teach them to understand this concept, it helps reinforce it in my heart as well. I explain to them that God is so big and strong that He can hold oceans in one hand and the stars in the other, yet He is so small that He and all of His love can fit right inside our hearts - and there's enough of that love for every single human. Amazing doesn't begin to describe that miracle!

Thank you, Lord, for loving me and giving me family and a job I love. Thank you for the love of my children at school. Thank you for a co-teacher who is a hard worker, creative, loving and giving. Thank you for the parents who encourage and uplift me in prayer. Thank you for letting me work and play with your little promises - the future - every day. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to love on them when they feel "cloudy with a chance of tears."

Love to all y'all

Welcome to the World, Baby Girl

What a lovely, peaceful weekend! The only thing missing was church. We went out-of-town for the day and had to miss church. Good thing God knows where I am all the time and goes along for the rides. Went to Peg's yesterday to celebrate Delaney's birthday. God, thank you for blessing me with such a loving mother-in-law; Peg's home is a place of rest and refuge from the busy world. She cooked some good groceries and we ate 'til it was almost shameful...almost! The chocolate birthday cake she made, with old-fashioned boiled chocolate icing, was so good it made my teeth ache. I bore the pain and decided to have a second piece. It was a little bittersweet as yesterday was "Grandy Bo Harold's" birthday. Losing him 9 years ago was so difficult and we miss him still. We have comfort in knowing we will one day see Grandy Bo again when we meet our Heavenly Daddy. "Bad Bo" would have laughed at Peg, his nephew Jason and me yesterday plucking freshly killed doves and pulling their breasts out. Thank goodness we had at least the sense God promised a goat and proceeded with the operation outside because the feathers flew, honey! To be such tiny little things, dressing those doves is a messy undertaking (pun intended). Bo would have enjoyed the fellowship afterwards as we sat on the porch, rockin' and talkin'. You can solve the problems of the world given enough time rockin' and talkin' on a porch. I love rocking chairs so much I have one in my classroom; reading to my class while I rock is such a joy!

I fell in love with rocking chairs when my baby girl came along. Delaney Elizabeth "Scout" Remsen was born September 7,1993 at 9:10 p.m. She took her sweet time getting here and right before she made her appearance, we had a scare that she might not make it to this side of heaven. But God's plan was for her to meet the world. He saved her. And He saved me.

Jesus saved me in every way He can save a person. He saved me for Himself and from myself. He saved me to love, serve and worship Him. He saved me from a life of rebellion; from pain without hope or comfort; from trying to fill a God-shaped vacuum in my heart with everything BUT God. He saved me to show me what my parents taught me, that there was a better life out there with Him as my Guide. Do I enjoy a perfect life of constant bliss? Not a chance! He never said I wouldn't fall, that I wouldn't hurt, that happiness would be my constant companion; He said He would always be there. He said this life is a vapor and that life on the other side would be bliss. Like the Bridegroom He is, God will be there for better or worse; He does honor His vows; death will not separate us but will unite us. He also saved me to be Scout's mommy.

When Bill and I were dating and things seemed altar-bound, I had to tell him that biological children were probably not an option. I told him all about endometriosis (more than he wanted to know, truth be told) and my prognosis. When I then told him about my probable infertility, he paused only to take a deep breath and say "Well, if my Grandmother Lottie can do it so can I. I can love someone else's child as my own. Let's look into adoption." What? We had not even set a date but Bill knew his mind and heart. His grandmother married at 19 and instantly had 5 step-children. She went on to have 2 biological children. One would never know the difference in her love and care for those 7 children. She loved them all ...and at times wanted to pinch each and every one of their heads completely off!

Subsequently, Bill experienced my numerous trips to the doctor's office; accompanying me on trips to the emergency room; supporting me through a surgery...all before "I do." Bill doesn't scare easily and he doesn't run from adversity. He even had the pleasure of seeing me after my wisdom teeth were extracted; can you say "chipmunk on Demerol?!" My hormones were out-of-whack, as opposed to in-whack, and at 28 I was experiencing hot flashes, crying jags and gained 40 pounds. Oh yes, it was a formula for relationship success, honey! I felt like a Lifetime disease-of-the-week movie, without the sexy wardrobe and perfect teeth.

In November of 1993, two years after I married, I had a routine test come back as suspicious for cervical cancer. It was devastating. We had tried since our honeymoon to have a baby. Forget home improvement projects, we were on a mission!! We were trying to be fruitful and multiply; the fruitful part we had down pat; it was the multiplying we were having trouble with. (I never have been great at math.) My mother, the undisputed head cheerleader for lost causes everywhere, refused to believe it was God's plan for me to have cancer. She believed I would have a baby. That is NOT what I wanted to hear. I thought she was absolutely nuts and I think I told her that. Then again, maybe not because I still have all of my teeth! I was angry with God, so hurt and I made no attempt to hide my feelings. Constantly, for 2 years I questioned Him, "Why is it that there are women who don't even want children pop them out like peanuts, one after the other, but I couldn't even have one that is the deepest desire of my heart?!" If one more of my well-meaning friends and relatives had told me "God has a plan" it was highly-possible this blog would be coming to you from a women's prison. I was ready to burn down the next person who smiled and lilted one of those Sunday School sayings my way. Then, as Gomer Pyle would say, "Surprise, surprise, surprise" a biopsy revealed the previous test to be a false-positive. And three weeks after that, I found out I was pregnant. Okay, okay I know, God did have a plan. Delaney Elizabeth was on her way.

You have never seen a woman who was 1 month pregnant try so hard to look like she was showing! I went straight from Dr. Oldham's office to the mall to buy maternity clothes. I was wearing them before nightfall. I was walking so bent back I looked like a sway-backed mule . I did get some strange looks. It seems so ridiculous now but honey I was so happy to be at the multiplying stage that I wanted everyone to know it. By the time I was 6 months along I no longer had to fake that sway-backed mule look. I was in high cotton in those days, beyond thrilled to be a mommy-to-be. Even the eventual swollen feet and general discomfort were a blessing to me. God not only gave me the desire of my heart, He gave me the ability to chose the joy in every aspect of it. "...for the joy set before Him, He endured the cross..." (Hebrews 12:2) The joy of the cross? Who am I NOT to find the joy in each situation? I didn't feel happy about some of the pain and difficulty but I did choose the joy of the situation. I chose joy at knowing the things I was feeling were because I was carrying a promise coming to fruition; joy that if these discomforts didn't exist I wouldn't be receiving this blessing; joy at knowing that a beautiful miracle awaited me at the end.

In my prayers, I had promised God that if He gave me a baby I would raise that child to know Him. Just like Hannah gave Samuel to God as she promised, Bill and I have given Delaney over to Him. Delaney has such a heart for God and His service. She loves church, her youth group, service projects, Bible studies...all aspects of praise, service and worship are where her heart lies. How blessed we are to have a daughter like Delaney, not perfect but who has a daily walk with a perfect Savior. Welcome to the world, Baby Girl!

Love to all y'all!

Friends are Family

Thank you, Lord, for one of those just...simply...great days yesterday. Took Scout to school; got my wig fixed (i.e., haircut); ate supper with friends while hubby worked and kiddo was at the ball game. Nothing to set off fireworks about; my joy about the day would probably bore the socks off of a lot of folks. Just digressing here a moment but...I get "knock your socks off" but - how exciting can the life of a sock possibly be that one could do anything SO boring that it would cause aforementioned sock to simply drop off of a foot?? I would imagine the life of a sock is already boring and smelly; even the socks of, say, Lance Armstrong, still don't do anything but sit inside the shoe. Now the shoe, she gets to see some things! The shoes are where it's happening on that end of the body! Just saying... Okay, time to take some meds and get back to the subject of friends.

Cathy is one of my best friends. Working at Grace as preschool teachers brought us together. We hit it off and now we are like peas-in-a-pod! Perhaps because we grew close under some difficult circumstances, we had to be real with each other and right quick, too. No time for the shallow, had to dive right into the deep end together. As firefighters say - you go, we go. God was really looking to bless me when He brought Cathy into my life. She and I are so close you would think we had been friends for decades rather than just 3 years. Cathy has that fragrance the Bible talks about that draws people to her. She has quiet strength and a loving spirit with a servant's heart. Now it is beyond me how God knew that someone as loud, bossy and sorta shameless as me would bond with a gracious, sweet woman like Cathy! He knew I needed someone who would love me "just 'cause!" I am blessed to have other friends like that; loving me just 'cause they want to and not because our bloodline demands it. Cathy and her husband, David, have such a warm, welcoming environment in their home. You sense it as you cross the lawn and see the swing on the porch, blowing in the breeze; the rocking chairs waiting for a taker look so inviting. The shade across the front porch is impossible to resist as it calls for you to "come on, sit down and visit with us." The interior of her home is just as inviting. You feel enveloped by the warmth inside. And once you're friends with the Rawlins family, you ARE family. I feel like the auntie that pops in and out, like Aunt Clara coming down the fireplace on Bewitched. I never know what's going to be happening but I know I want in on it! Their family is as loud, loving and crazy as mine so nothing phases me. We might not have the same D*N*A but we share L*O*V*E and G*O*D.

Reminds me of the sign I have hanging in my home. My friend, Jasmine, has it in hers as well. It absolutely, perfectly describes our family philosophy: In this home...we do second chances; we do grace; we do real; we do mistakes; we do "I'm sorry;" we do LOUD really well; we do hugs; we do family; we do love. Add to that, "we do Jesus" and it's a complete picture. Wouldn't this world be at one with God, and in turn, each other if every household had those as a daily "to do" list?! We really strive for that kind of home. I have expressed to Bill that I want him to want to come home after work. I never want him to feel like "oh boy, I have to go home to her tonight" when he's headed home; a feeling of dread as he pulls in our driveway is a feeling I pray he never experiences. Same goes for my baby girl. Sure doesn't mean we don't have our less-than-stellar moments. Remember the "we do loud real well" part? We, especially me, DO do that! Just because divorce ain't an option doesn't homicide hasn't been pondered! But all of that training would be down the drain and I sure don't have the patience to start from scratch with a new model. (Love you honey, mean it.)

Feeling blessed to have a nice day. Nothing posh, nothing newsworthy...just simple pleasures like the love of a good friend. Much love to all of my "Cathys." You know who you are - I love ya!

Love to all y'all!

It's September

Loving, loving, loving this weather! Yesterday on the playground felt like one of those home games in Athens when finally you don't feel the "glow" running down your back, making a puddle in your pants. The munchkins noticed the difference, too, and were so excited about the wind blowing. They were turning their faces towards the wind, sticking their tongues out to "catch" it; like puppies hanging their heads out the car window, they were trying to physically capture the breeze. It seems as if all the rain we had last weekend broke the back of the oppressive humidity. There are some hot days here and there yet to come but nothing like summer days past. There is always a turning point, a day when the change is palpable and you know the season has changed. I've always found it interesting and, frankly, hilarious that one particular date is designated as the official start of summer, June 21st. Down here in God's country we start donning shorts and sandals in March and swimming in late April or early May. Swimming dates depend on if you're in a pool - that's April- or the lake - that's May unless you don't mind being numb from the waist down for 3 days after your dip! Of course trying to wash all that lovely, red, squishy Georgia mud off of your bathing suit, arms, legs, hair, etc. will heat you right up! Then riding with the car windows down because you smell like fish poop and dead leaves will get you good and dry before you hit Pollard's Corner.

When my baby sister was held hostage up north for 2 years...oops...when her husband was transferred to Pennsylvania, she experienced a winter siege that included summer arriving and departing on the same day - July 4th! There were some things Beth enjoyed about the small town in which they lived but weather was not one of them! She had never seen black ice but that's what happens to months of snow that's plowed up in huge drifts on the side of the road. Car exhaust and dirt of every description attaches itself to the drifts; not exactly the pictures on our Christmas cards! And her children were greatly disappointed to find out there aren't "snow days" in that part of the world unless the snow covers the windows. After the first big snowfall the kids were jumping up and down celebrating the anticipated day at home. That's when my sister said, "No snow day. Snow here means long johns under school clothes, snow boots, snow plow, school bus snow tires. Now get ready." Can't you picture those 3 sad little faces dragging themselves around waiting for the bus? Wondering, what happened to one snowflake in Georgia and we run to buy bread, milk and batteries for the long-winter's nap?! Beth said that one morning she was about to peep at the weather thermometer and was silently praying, "God, please let it be above zero." That was the moment she had an epiphany that screamed within her "I am begging for above-zero temperatures. My mama didn't raise me to live like this! Lawd, get me outta' here!" It proved to be their last winter in Pennsylvania. My brother-in-law ain't a dummy, honey.

Speaking of weather, our old pal at Channel 12, Bob Smith, has retired. Tonight at 11 was his last broadcast. For 32 years I've watched "Accu-Bob." That nickname has even become part of this area's colloquial expressions. It's not always used to reference remarks about weather; someone spouts a random fact and the sarcastic response is "Thanks for that report, Accu-Bob!" Bob Smith is a fine Christian man who served our community on and off the air. My mother is a Bob "groupie" and has been keeping one of those Bob Smith Severe Weather guides for years. How will we know when to scream like a girl and hide in the closet if Bob isn't around...and that's just for Bill!

Talked to Mama tonight. She got a good report at the surgeon's office today. She was a bit disappointed that Dr. Duggan didn't take out all the sutures and stitches but the most important thing is..she can go to the beauty shop tomorrow and get her style on! Gotta' get that hair did! My late, great daddy used to tease Mama and tell her that he wouldn't believe she had passed away until he loaded her into the car, rode her past the beauty shop and then if she didn't raise up he'd let Platt's Funeral home take her on downtown!

I was having a cop-a-thon tonight. Watched the real deals and the dramas...The First 48, Crime 360, Law & Order, The Closer. Love me some Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson of the LAPD! And those real female cops down in Broward County are smart and f-i-e-r-c-e ! The criminals don't always get their due but it's not from lack of trying on the part of these women -and their male counterparts. I love those gotcha' moments when the murderers, rapists, child molesters get that deer-in-the-headlights look because they realize they've been caught by these dedicated men and women. I'm married to a former cop, and have cousins retired from the F.B.I., and the Miami/Dade Sheriff's Dept., and an uncle retired from the U. S. Marshals Service. I better not get started - this is a blog for another time.

Hubby is home. Time to frisk him and slap the cuffs on!!

Love to all y'all!

Just thoughts

Yesterday was another good day in the K3 neighborhood. We had a little excitement in the form of a surprise fire drill. It was a surprise to everyone! The alarm was mistakenly set-off but we had to treat it as authentic. Our class took it in stride and responded very calmly. Because Ann & I were calm and orderly the children responded in kind. I've seen grown folks lose their minds at the sound of a fire or smoke alarm. Not sure that their screaming and hand-wringing actually enhanced the hysterical, losing-of-the-mind parts of the experience for them but it sure made for hilariously entertaining viewing on my part! Not mean, just honest.

Though I miss, and will always love, my former co-teachers, Ann is a joy! Thank you, Lord, for your plan to team us up this year. We already have that short-hand between us that usually takes a few weeks - sometimes months- to develop. Ann has a heart for Jesus and for children. She has so many good ideas and brings a new perspective to the classroom that is always welcome. It makes for a great dynamic to have a teacher new to Grace blended with one who has experience working at Grace. Though I strive to find new ideas, techniques, craft and recipe ideas, it helps keep things fresh in the classroom to throw someone new into the mix. Don't worry, Ann, I wouldn't really let anyone throw you - we gotta' stick together! It's us against 17 munchkins - yikes! But the worst that could happen in the case of a K3 rebellion is sticky kisses, handprints everywhere, a centers take-over and possibly a marker revolt. I can see it now...the girls would put on every article of girlie clothing and accessories in the dress-up box and probably demand that the boys put on the hero clothes (fireman, Batman, Army); the treasure box would be emptied into book bags; the markers would be seized and used until they ran dry; and if the overthrow happened before lunch, then desserts would be blatantly consumed before veggies!! And, film at 11.

Scout piled up in the bed with me last night and snuggled for a little while. "Bliss" is the word I use to describe the feeling I have when we sit up in my bed, chatting; sometimes about random, trivial stuff and sometimes about serious subjects and situations. I just love that "my Delaney" confides in me and values my opinion. That curly-haired girl that loved to play dress-up and called herself "Cinderella" for a month is older but still in there; dressing up for real now for church and for school functions; dressing up in a band uniform to take the field and play what she's so diligently practiced; sporting a nickname, Scout, that truly stuck because Cinderella was unavailable! I know that she is close to her friends, too, and that I'm not completely "in" that world but that is as it should be. With God's help, Bill & I have raised her in accordance with Biblical teachings and stand on Proverbs 22:8 "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." I trust her until she gives me a reason not to trust her. It gives me comfort to know there are other Christian adults in Scout's life that she loves, trusts and in whom she can confide should she ever need a shoulder and/or sound advice. Thank you, God, for answering my prayer for the gift of life. Like Hannah, I truly promised God that if He gave me a child I would honor that gift by raising the child to have a servant's heart and to love Him. God has honored Scout's love and service to Him by providing her with tools to serve Him- in the form of a dedicated youth pastor,Bryan Carter; a dynamic youth group; and many servant leaders. Scout, I am one lucky and loved mother and am proud to know you!

Today was another good day in the K3 neighborhood. It was cool all day today but wet so we couldn't enjoy the outdoors. Boo! Rachel came home with me this afternoon. She is like having a 3-year old, 3-foot tall Lucille Ball around. She is such a hoot! She says the funniest things, sometimes on purpose, sometimes not. When we got home, I got out to unlock the front door and I told her to "sit tight" and then I'd get her out of her carseat. She patted the shoulder straps and said "It's not too tight, it's just right. It's okay, I'll be here when you get back." Once inside Rachel just proceeded to make herself right at home...shoes and socks off, propped up on the couch with her legs crossed and her hands up behind her head. I gave her a cup of chocolate milk which she eyed a bit suspiciously. She took a tiny sip, smacked her lips together, smiled and said, "That tastes okay I think. Just leave it there and I may have some later." Really?! Should I have let her sniff the plastic top to the milk jug? Should I open it and let it sit 5 minutes before serving so it can breathe? Was last week a good one for the chocolate milk harvest? My word.

Hubby is home. Love that man of mine...especially since he stopped on the way home for milk and bathroom tissue. What can I say? Doesn't take much to make this girl happy. Thank you, Lord, for simple pleasures. Time for a little marital bliss.

Love to all y'all!

Thoughts about Daddy

Time does get away from me - hard to believe I haven't written anything since last Thursday.

Spent most of the day Friday @ University Hospital with Mama. She had a little cosmetic surgery as a follow-up to her double mastectomy procedure; no reconstruction was her choice but she needed a bit of refinement of her skin. Teri & Dennis (sis & b-in-law) there, too. Honey, Mama held court in that day surgery building! From the time Mama hit the door downstairs, to wheeling out after her procedure, she was a 4'11" tornado of Southern charm and Christian faith! It was more like a party going on in her room than awaiting, and recovering from, surgery. Amazing grace indeed! I went home with her afterwards and we watched every make-over show TLC airs. She was up before me Saturday morning, though neither of us beat the chickens awake. My sweet hubby kept the home fires burning and took care of supper, etc Saturday night. Thankful to Laura & Ben for taking Scout to Greenbrier in time for her to catch the band bus to the ball game @ Evans. Thank you, Lord, for the little things family & friends are willing to do that make life easier.

If Daddy were alive, he and Mama would celebrate their 62nd wedding anniversary today. They were about 7 weeks shy of 60 years when God called Daddy home suddenly on July 4, 2007. While it makes me sad, I choose the joy in the situation; joy at the beautiful, loving, Biblical picture of marriage that I witnessed; joy at knowing he was loved enough on this side of heaven by a wife who was a helpmate, friend, partner, sister in Christ; loved enough by 4 girls who used to fight over who got his cigar band and who would put on his slippers (were we crazy or what?!); joy at having not just a father, but a daddy. I had a daddy who came home every night; a daddy who played board games with us on Saturday nights (and did NOT let us win, either); a daddy who believed in his 4 girls and never doubted we could do anything; a daddy who showed us how we should be treated by a husband. Daddy lived, "Jesus first, wife second, children third" then church, work etc. He said if one honored the first 3 that the rest of one's list/life would fall into the proper priority. Daddy was an encourager to so many, pushing them to believe in themselves. My daddy was not perfect and we saw that, too. But he walked daily with a perfect Savior. I choose the joy in all of the wonderful stories people shared with my mama, sisters and me at Daddy's visitation and funeral; the joy in knowing he quietly encouraged and assisted so many people - some I knew about, many I did not. Daddy wanted people to believe in their abilities- and that they were absolutely God's gift- and wanted them to follow whatever was God's plan for them. Daddy wanted everyone to see the love he had for his wife and daughters, sons-in-law, grandchildren, siblings, scads of nieces, etc. Rev. Joey Thompson preached Daddy's funeral and after my sisters and I finished (each) sharing our thoughts about Daddy, the first thing Joey said was, "After that, if you have the urge to hug your wife and children, please go ahead and do so now." Daddy wasn't rich nor famous but our home church seats about 800-1000 downstairs and the church was filled. Every walk of life was represented because Daddy did not offer his friendship to position but to people.

There are days I miss Daddy so deeply that it physically hurts; my heart is brimming and feels as though it could burst. How blessed I am that there were no unspoken words between us. I wasted so many years being rebellious. For many years we were like 2 raccoons tied up in a sack and thrown in the river; we were in it together but we sure didn't like it and fought like the devil to get away from each other!

But once I was again on the right path and putting God first, Daddy and I spent many happy hours together. He never allowed the past to cloud our present or future. He absolutely and completely forgave me. Daddy was an earthly picture of a Heavenly Daddy.

I love you and miss you, Daddy. I know I will see you again. Keep the porch light on until I get home!

Love to all y'all!

Randomness on a Thursday

Today was a good day in the preschool neighborhood; almost no tears and that was just Mrs. Ann and me. We enjoyed learning more about our class through their "All About Me" bags. Very interesting to learn what books they enjoy and particularly their career aspirations. For the girls it was a toss-up between doctor - not nurse, doctor- mommy and princess. And since I have 3 sisters who are nurses, save the cards and letters and understand that I believe nursing is a wonderful profession for women AND men. The boys surprised us the most; "horse cleaner-upper, chef, and 2 farmers were among the expected firefighters and policemen. The "horse excrement specialist" (sounds funnier than groomer, folks) has a sister who loves horses so he figures to literally do the dirty work for her! That's right, sistah, get him young and train him right.

Rachel came home from school with me today because her mama, Crystal, wasn't feeling well. (She & her husband, Steve are very close friends of ours.) That child is a woman trapped in a preschoolers body, honey. In a pinch I think she could drive. We ran errands and she navigated Wally World like a pro. I should just send her in with the list and money, grab a "Co-cola" and sit on one of those benches, and let her have at it. She's a 3-foot dynamo fueled by juice boxes and PB&J. We took a 12-pack of Cokes to school for Delaney for ball game band breaks. It was at dismissal and there were teenagers everywhere. It was organized chaos and Rachel just waltzed in holding my hand and strolling along like she owned the joint. Hilarious!!! (By the way, if I haven't explained this for those who need one, "Co-Cola" is a Coke in the South. And when we ask "Do you want a Coke?" that is shorthand for "Would you like a carbonated beverage?" Should be Coke, but may be Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, the Dew, etc.

It was "cook's choice" tonight and the cook chose frozen pizza. Since Scout considers me a great cook I wasn't sure if that would make the cut for her - since. if you read a previous blog you know, her nickname for me is "MacGyver of the kitchen." The doubt was unfounded because she jumped on the pizza like a starvin' man on a country ham! You would have thought I had cooked a 7-course meal. What was I thinking? Teenagers are as uncomplicated when it comes to food as are men - it's dead, it's cooked and it won't eat them first. Bill and I joke that too many wives think husbands are more complicated than they are. He and I agree that to please her husband, a wife just needs to get nekked, have a bucket of hot wings and it's all good! A ball game later of some sort would be a welcome bonus.

Mama is having some minor plastic surgery tomorrow. She had a double-mastectomy in February and the surgeon needs to remove some excess skin. Dr. Duggan was able to remove all the cancer and Mama didn't have to have chemo or radiation. Praise God for the good things He has done. Praying Mama sails through this procedure as well as she did the initial surgery; amazingly going home the next day. She was the star patient. I will be going home with her just in case she needs someone. Interesting how things reverse at a certain point in life. I figure she wiped my behind and wore the beautimous macaroni necklaces I crafted for her so being there for her is the least I can do. Of course she didn't tell me until I was grown that once I was out of sight she stashed the pasta in her purse. Wish I had known that before I paraded all over town with the one Delaney gave me!! It did come in handy when I ran short of noodles one night.

Proud of Evans High School band's support of Haley Van Pelt. She is the Greenbrier High student and marching band section leader who had a wreck during band camp in July. Evans' band members will be wearing gold and green ribbons to honor Haley. When G'brier marches, during practices and games, they leave Haley's space open. Our prayers are that she will soon take her place back on the field.

Got to pack for Mama's. If you are a blog follower, please uplift her in your prayers tomorrow.

Love to all y'all

A Mama that Prays

Tuesday, August 25, 2009 was my mama's 81st birthday. It has become a joke between us that I tell her "I sure am glad you were born or I wouldn't be here." She always says she's glad she was born so she could be a mama to my sisters and me. And on my birthday I tell her "I sure am glad you decided to have me and didn't turn back when you found out it was me!" Mama always replies that she is sure glad she had me, too. Of course I don't do anything the easy way; Mama spent 4 days in the hospital waiting for my slow tail to get in gear and get going. Being the tail-end of the cow comes very naturally for me; unfortunately, that not only speaks to me taking my time but also to the truth that I have been known to show my bee-hind at times. Must have been all those folks literally waiting on me because I've loved attention ever since!

My mama prayed for me in the womb. She prayed over my childhood illnesses and offered praise for my health. Mama prayed for my education and grades, fair weather friends who were fated to disappoint me, and boys not worthy of my heart. She asked God to prepare Christian spouses for my sisters and me. Mama prayed that she and Daddy were raising us to know Jesus; that my sisters and me would grow up to always be close. She and Daddy said, repeatedly, "Stick together, stick together, stick together. When the rest of the world falls away, the Lord and your family will be left." They were absolutely right!

Mama has always been bold in her faith, too. With humble beginnings at age 12, she would ask neighbors for rides to church; her own parents rarely attended and seldom drove her. She married into a family of strong Christians and her faith continued to blossom. Mama moved to strange cities with her Navy husband, having to raise babies while far from her own mother. Mama lost four babies but still wanted to try for a big family and trusted God to give it to her; He did. Mama has that "Southern thang" going for her that allows her to easily strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere, about seemingly anything. (A topic for another blog!) Mama has witnessed to store clerks, waitresses, pharmacists, doctors, janitors - you name it, she's asked them the most important question one could ask, simply, "do you know Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?" I'm ashamed to admit it used to embarrass me. Then it shamed me to realize I felt that way. Finally I grew to admire her.

In my twenties, I was devastated to learn that I had endometriosis and that I had almost no chance of bearing a child. I had always wanted to be a mommy; had grown up babysitting, working in VBS and the nursery and taught preschool Sunday School. My mama literally, and figuratively, put her foot down and refused to let me give up. She never, never gave up hope that I would receive the desire of my heart - a baby. I always saw her never-give-up attitude when it came to the underdogs and hopeless situations of the world. I watched her sit by my uncle's bedside for 39 days, praying and waiting for him to wake up after major heart surgery. (So serious that the procedures used made medical history). Mama pushed my aunt, she pushed her nieces - she even pushed the medical staff with her prayerful, faithful belief in a miracle. We got one when Uncle Archie woke up on day 40! I wanted to doubt that God would give me a miracle but with "Dot" pushing me, I didn't dare. I think I was more scared of her reaction to any sign of my doubt than I was of God's!!

When a test result showed markers for cervical cancer, I was at my lowest point. The first call I made was to Mama. In her typical fashion she replied, "It will be okay, sugah. God has a plan for you. I know He will give you a child." My mind was screaming, "What? Are you kiddin' me, woman? Either you took one too many pills today or you skipped one!!" But because I didn't want to be disrespectful and I value my teeth, I just cried and let her pray me through it. One month later I tested positive - for pregnancy. Nine months later as Delaney's delivery began to become a life-threatening situation for both of us, there Mama & Daddy were; by my bedside they prayed aloud for us, for the medical personnel, for my husband. We will celebrate our still-healthy baby girl's 16th birthday next month, praise God!

There were times while I was rebelling that I put my parents through hell. If you had looked up the word "hellion" in Webster's during that time, my picture would have been scowling back at you. My daddy and I were at each other constantly, like two tom cats with their tails tied together and Mama was the lion tamer (or tom cat tamer, as it were). I finally smartened up, got right with my Savior, and daddy and I were very close right up until his death; Mama and I remain close. I have asked her many times why she didn't just pinch my head off or put me in a sack and throw me in the Savannah River; off the Butt Bridge would have been appropriate had it been deep enough! She always gives the same two-part answer: "I stood upon the Word in Proverbs 22:8 - 'Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.'; and, a mother never gives up on her child." Please help me to be that kind of mama to Delaney, the baby my mama knew was coming; she knew that she knew that she knew. Thank you, Lord, for never giving up on me and for choosing a praying Mama for me!

Happy Birthday, Mama! I sure am glad you were born.

Love, Hope

Love to all y'all!

God is in my School

Yesterday was another day full of praise, worship and fellowship. I love my church family. When I worship at Grace, when I'm truly seeking the face of God, I can feel His presence in such a mighty and real way. My words are insufficient to describe the fullness of the Holy Spirit I can feel well up inside of me. Pastor Bill is a wonderful shepherd to his flock and a great facilitator who strives to bring us ever closer to our Savior and each other. I also had an opportunity to sub in the nursery. Met someone new, Leysl - not new to Grace but when you attend a large church sometimes you miss meeting folks. So happy to work with her and one of my moms from last year, Melissa. Nothing like wiping hind parts and snotty noses to bond women together! That's the stuff that breaks down walls, honey! It's hard not to be "real" when you're up to your elbows in poo.

Melissa's daughter, Tori, was in my class last year and now attends a public school kindergarten. Tori came home from school mid-way through last week and told her mama that "God is not at my school!" She went on to share her observation - and exasperation - that she was waiting for her teacher or someone to talk about God but... God was not at her school! Out of the mouths of babes! Tori also said she missed "Mr. Chris" and chapel time with him. Melissa explained to Tori that we carry God with us wherever we go and, because there are places where lessons/discussions about God don't take place, it's important that we stay close to Him and keep Him with us. It was a privilege to teach Tori and to know that she does recognize the difference when God is not in school. It also makes me sad. My Scout struggled to bring God with her to school and was bullied about her faith, her membership in a Christian club at Greenbrier Middle, and even about her Christian t-shirts. Adults are not the only targets of unbelievers and we could certainly learn from the strong faith of Tori and Scout. Glory to God, Scout had Christian teachers giving her encouragement. How blessed I am to be a preschool teacher at Grace and to have God in my school! I also know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Christian teachers work at public schools and they share their faith every day. I pray that God provides them the protection and strength they need to continue to do so.

Randomness...cooked more of Grandmother Lottie's tea cakes for my family. There is just great satisfaction for me in making something that pleases my family. I know, how sick IS that?! Seriously, I love that my daughter calls me "the MacGyver of the Kitchen." She says I could take any random ingredients and make a delicious meal. Wow, maybe I could get a paying gig doing that!! Scout was so happy she came in my room and hugged my neck so tight. Yay...a voluntary teenager hug!!! My sweet hubby is working this evening. Praying he has a slow night; a busy night for a paramedic business means there are folks out there suffering. Thank you, Lord, for our public servants and please surround them with angels and keep them safe.

Now I must go before I fall down. And if you haven't guessed it yet...God is in my home, too!

Love to all y'all

Jesus and Disco

What a great time I had tonight! Several of our Sunday School classes joined in and had a "Disco Night" tonight in the youth suite. The decorating committee did an outstanding job of transforming the suite and cafe' into a groovy, happenin' hang-out; completing the look were the expected disco balls and other shiny stuff but unexpected items from the era like: real record albums by Neil Diamond, KC and the Sunshine band, etc., a "Mrs Beasley" doll like Buffy from Family Affair owned, a "Captain Caveman" doll, and other iconic memorabilia. The buffet included fondue pots including cheese, caramel and peanut butter dips. It was really like stepping back in time. The ensembles that people sported were a cross between hip, hilarious and completely accurate! There was so much polyester and hairspray I was looking for a fire extinguisher just in case any of us got to close to the flames from the fondue warmers and candles! With all the flammable fabric, wigs and glitter the fumes would've gotten us before the flames stood a chance, honey!!

Tonight was yet again proof that a group of adults can get together, have a great time and not have to be plowed, stoned, high or insert the euphemism of your choice describing a non-sober state of being. Being a Christian does not mean being devoid of humor, fun, hijinks and good-hearted mischief. We didn't sit around holding hands and singing hymns but I believe God was glorified by our fellowship and our care for each other. We had a ball playing stuff like Family Feud and just hanging out.

There was a little bittersweetness in my walk down memory lane tonight. I wish I could say that the first time I listened to disco, danced the hustle and wore polyester (though I was in high school) that I was walking strong in the Lord. I was not. I knew all the right "churchy words" because I was raised in a Christian home. But I was leading a double life. Until the end of the '80's I tried to fill the God-shaped hole in my life with everything but Him; partying was all I lived for - thinking about the last good time and planning the next one. My only future plans were planning the outfits I'd wear during those good times. Only by the grace of God did I not suffer long-term effects because that lifestyle is how addictions and other great burdens begin. One day I just woke up being sick and tired of being sick and tired. All I had been taught about God's unconditional love and grace still didn't prepare me for the feeling that I needed to "clean up" before I could come back to Him. But Paul, the prodigal son, and the woman at the well became my touchstones. If God could use them, maybe He could use a broken vessel like me. For the first time I came to truly embrace the truth that Jesus will meet you where He finds you but He won't leave you there. How blessed I am that Jesus loves a former disco diva like me!!

Love to all y'all!

Digging for Joy and other random thoughts

Joy is a choice; happiness is a reaction based upon circumstances. I truly, sincerely, purpose in my heart to look for and choose joy every day. It's not always easy; like Kermit said, "It ain't easy bein' green." Today is one of the days when I have trouble "bein' green" and have to dig for the joy. My fibromyalgia (a non-contagious, auto-immune disease) is doing it's full-on best to kick my bee-hind. Crampy hands and feet, feel like I've run 20 miles, neck glands swollen and pressing on a facial nerve causing severe pain in my jaw. Just want to lay in bed but I'll never get this day back! I physically cannot do laundry or complete the needed decorating, etc resulting from our recent move. So I'm piled up in my quilt, watching the Law & Order:Criminal Intent marathon (LOVE Vincent D'Onofrio) while I work on lesson plans and put ice on my jaw. Whatever works, right?! Found some joy!

Choosing joy... I know my daughter is safe and we're not frantically hanging posters, lighting up Amber Alert billboards and praying for her safe return. My husband is at work and will come home and take care of me; he's not gambling or in a hotel with a girlfriend or scoring drugs. I have fresh water flowing from my faucets, at will, and not toting it from a river 5 miles away, boiling it first so my family doesn't get dysentery. I can kneel on my porch if I choose - in full view of my neighbors- and pray to my heavenly Father, without fear of men with automatic weapons nearby ready to send me to meet Him. I can even wear stripes and plaids, with a polka-dot shower cap, and the only consequence is my daughter pointing and laughing! More joy, yesss! Thank you, Lord, for the things I sometimes take for granted.

Choosing joy...a family friend had a baby Tuesday. I can understand how one can look around at the streets, see what humans can do to one another and not believe in my loving God. But how can you look at a baby and not believe? There is a brand, spankin' new human where one did not exist 9 months ago! A baby like no other that has ever been created or ever will be created; the fingerprints of God cover Baby Rivers and every other human. It's what we do with the mold He created that counts. (And on days like today, I think there's mold ON my mold!) Baby Rivers' fingerprints are not only unique from any other person, each of the 10 prints are unique from each other. And that is supposed to be derived from some ancient ball of gas tumbling through the universe? Really?! Come on, I also figured out the lady at the magic show ain't really being cut in half, either. Reading Lee Strobel's The Case for Christ truly helped me with the science and history aspect of my witness. Welcome to the world, Rivers. More joy for me! Thank you, Lord, for the every day miracles that surround us.

The fibromyalgia has made it increasingly harder for me to write for long periods of time. Love journaling but was basically grinding to a halt. What to do? I thought blogging was for full-time and freelance writers; didn't realize, duh, that it is whatever you want it to be. Read the blogs of Kristen Davis and Julie Dennard and they inspired me. Inexplicably, typing is more comfortable so I could journal in the form of a blog just as they do. I may be a bit slow on the uptake but I eventually catch on. Now one of my bestest friends, Mickie, a writer with her own weekly column, has begun reading my blog and loves it. She even asked to quote/borrow from it. Wow, high praise coming from someone whom I greatly admire; a true daughter of the South and an extraordinary wordsmith. Yep, found some more joy! Thank you, Lord, for sending these women to inspire me.

Scout is home from school and now piled up on the bed next to me. A teenager not only speaking to her mother, but hanging out with her. Do signs and wonders never cease?! Oops, is that more joy coming my way? I do believe it is. Thank you, Lord, for challenging me to choose joy!

Love to all y'all!

Don't pay the ransom, I've escaped! I not only just made it through the first week of school, I thrived and so did my munchkins. We have such a sweet class; lots of personalities emerging as they feel more comfortable in their new room. Of course some came in with no apprehension and some are ready to take over! It will be interesting with a 2-to-1 ratio of girls to boys. Guess it will help them get used to taking orders from us who really rule the world :) Already had one diva trying to get her pal to wear a princess gown and needless to say, he was not having it! She even tried the reassurance ploy, "but you would wook so bootiful!" No sale!

My own precious daughter is flaked out on the bed next to me. High school is tough but she's tougher...as long as she gets an evening nap. She is poisonous without enough sleep. Have you seen how fast a frog zaps a bug into its mouth? That's how fast she'll snap up her daddy, me or any human in the vicinity when she is in "tyrannical teen" mode. We just try not to make any sudden moves. Love that she still creeps in here for after-school talks. I take the crumbs and eventually am able to make a meal and understand what's going on in her world. Considering what a Christ-centered young woman she is, I'll take a little sleep-deprivation reactive disorder. How do y'all like that fancy diagnosis? I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express and watched reruns of House last night!

My beloved hubby is home on a rare evening off so I'm off to enjoy marital bliss. Love to all y'all!

Hello Y'all

Posting on Facebook has been fun and I have received positive feedback on my postings. I enjoy journaling and have done it for years. My daddy graduated from UGA with a journalism degree and my mama has been journaling for years (she's good for an alibi if necessary) so it obviously comes naturally. This may turn out to be purely for me but so what? My motto "No shame in my game" gives me the push I need sometimes to try new things or just to ask nunya questions. (FYI, "Nunya" means "none ya' bidness"). Explaining nunya puts me in mind of the comments from my friends and friends of friends who aren't from around here who appreciate my explanations of the nuances of Southern-ese. Careful with the smart jokes and comments folks; remember, God talks like we do! Check in for more from me - "I am fearfully and wonderfully made..."(Psalm 139:14)